Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Seasons of life


Time is such a funny thing, it goes by so quickly, yet each moment has to potential to shape us and mould us, to change us. I look back on my life, and my childhood seems like it was just yesterday. I remember hugs with my Mom, rides to the cottage with my Dad, laughing with my Grampa in his kitchen, playing yatzee with my Gramma. I think back to spending time with my Grandma at the cottage, and learning with my Grandpa (every moment is a lesson with him).

I find my self in moments now, telling my self "remember this, remember every detail because soon it will be just a memory". Just last night I was telling myself to remember, as B and I sat out on our back deck and watched the planes fly by. "Mommy, maybe when we were coming home from the Dominican, a kid was watching our plan and said to his Mommy, I wonder where they are coming home from?" My little thinker, always curious, always seeking knowledge. Sometimes I wish time would just stop and moments like these could last just a little longer, so I could remember them more clearly. I think it's this wish that drives my passion for photography - a picture freezes a moment in time, so you can look back on that moment with clarity.

I think often of the future. Why even in three short weeks, life is going to change completely as I head back to work, maternity leave coming to an end. I wonder what I will miss the most about life and the way it is now. I wonder what will change for the better. I even look to an unknown future years down the road. How many kids will we have, where will we be living, when will our mortgage be paid off?

This weekend, we were lucky enough to witness a chapter of life of two birds, as they worked diligently to build their nest in one of our trees. One bird (I assume the male) collected twigs and grass and brought them to the tree where the other bird (female?) placed the twigs underneath her and formed a nest. This ritual took three days to complete. The male bird pausing often to make sure he was safe to proceed and even to chase off other birds that got too close to the nest. The female bird has been sitting on the next non stop all day now, and we are guessing her eggs have now been laid. Soon we will witness the next chapter in her life as her eggs hatch and new life begins.

The boys and I visited my grandparents today. As I watched them in the final chapters of their lives, I could appreciate their season and where they are at. They reminisce about old days and their favourite times, as they watch the next generation with pure joy and pride in their eyes. My grandparents are just happy for each day despite the aches and pains they must endure. I see their season of love as they continue to be each other's company and best friend. My grandfather buys my grandmother a dozen roses every week. They still have their moments of bickering and they are still in love. I don't know how many moments I have left to share with my grandparents (here on earth anyway), but I still learn something new from them each time I see them. Speaking of learning something new - learning is what keeps my grandpa going, proven again to me as he told me about the philosophy book he is reading and about everything he is learning. In his 85 years, he has yet to learn everything, and maintains his passion for knowledge (I wonder where B gets it from?).

Life seems to be in fast forward these days. I don't know if it's because of the season of change I am about to experience, or if it's from watching my kids as they grow. I do know that if I want a moment to last forever, I need to savour every detail and do my best to remember it. Oh and don't blink for too long, or I'll miss something all together!

Yet will all this reflection and though about life, about time, one thought keeps coming back. All of this, is in fact just a season, a short season before eternity starts and I get to spend forever in Heaven. I can’t even begin to imagine what life will be like, with knowing I have forever to live. Time will no longer be a factor.

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