40 Years

This week my Grandfather reached 40 years of sobriety! What an amazing accomplishment! I am so proud of the strength my Grandfather has demonstrated!

I never knew my Grandfather as a 'drunk' - none of his grandkids ever did. Grandpa made a choice to change his life for the better, no matter what it took, and still makes that choice every day.

My grandfather is 87 years young and still golfs 3 times a week. He is a husband of 62 years (minus 2 weeks), who buys his wife flowers every week so "she'll remember who I am". He is a father of 4, grandfather of 9. My grandfather is a veteran from WWII, who's plane crashed into the Atlantic and who saved the lives of two men who went down with him. My grandfather is the last living of the 9 children in his family. He is a great-grandfather of 4 (3/4 of which are my kids). I couldn't ask for a better person to have as a grandfather, and to be a great-grandfather to my kids.

Talking to my cousin, who had the opportunity to attend the AA meeting where our Grandfather received his 40 year medallion (I had the honour of attending his 30 year accomplishment), he made an observation. "Everybody there really likes Grandpa". Upon further discussion, we both came to the conclusion that EVERYWHERE Grandpa goes he is well liked, he just has that type of personality".

This got me to thinking, when my Grandfather was an addicted alcoholic, as apose to the sober alcoholic that he has been for the past 40 years, I'm sure he wasn't always well liked. I'm sure that there were moments where my Grandmother and the rest of the family, did not 'like' my Grandfather.

I then look at my own life and wonder, am I the type of person who is well liked everywhere I go? Are there times when I am not well 'liked' by my family? I'm sure there are. We all have our moments of weakness and times when we don't like ourselves. When do our weakness and flaws become our character and make us unlikable or unforgivable?

Reality is no one can be liked by everyone. Human nature is to find flaws in others to make ourselves feel better about our own flaws. And the truth is, I've hurt people and I will hurt people in the future. Does that mean they don't like me as a person? Ultimately I'm the one who has to live with myself and the choices I make. Can I live with the person I am?

I'm proud of my Grandfather for the choice he has made and continues to make. His strength and determination encourage me to be a better person; to live each day, trying to be a better person than the previous.

When I'm 87, I want to look back on my life and know that I did the best I could to be the best person I can. I want to look back and “like” the person I have become.

My Grandfather once told me "do something nice for someone everyday and don't tell anyone". I think that's a pretty good place to start.