Motherhood can do funny things...

The feelings I am experiencing right now, are no doubt ones that I will experience often on this journey of motherhood. Today my little 4 year old boy took another step towards independence, today B started kindergarten. B’s first full day isn’t until Friday. In fact, he’s only at school for an hour today and half a day on Thursday. Even still I can help but feel that this hour is going to be a long one.

While waiting for school to start, B saw a friend from his Montessori school. I encouraged B to say hi and that this little boy was probably feeling a bit nervous about starting Kindergarten, “just like you” I said. B quickly corrected me by saying “I’m not worried about starting school Mommy, I’m excited”.

I distinctly remember my first day of JK, in which I cried and cried as my Mom insisted everything would be fine and I’d be home again before I knew it. I wish my Mom were here right now, telling me those same words. “Everything will be fine and B will be home again before you know it”.

The truth is that everything will be fine from today on, just different, life has changed. Change for the better as my little boy grows up; but a change that came too soon for a mother who too easily remembers holding a brand new baby boy not that long ago. Change is funny in that I often feel the emotions from the current change and the anticipated changes of the future. I can’t help but think forward to B’s first day of high school, university, B’s wedding day and many more milestones he is sure to reach during his life time; each milestone bringing a change that will slowly turn my little boy into a man.

Amongst my feelings of loss and sadness as my B is no longer a baby, I feel extreme pride and joy. B is so smart and ready for the challenges that face him as he begins his career as a student – one that he will have the rest of his life. E and I are ready as parents to embrace and encourage B’s enthusiasm of learning and are ready to help him along the way, knowing full well that we will be learning just as much, if not more.

I know that I am not alone today. Along with B, there were at least a dozen more Kindergarteners starting school today, with their parents waving goodbye. I couldn’t help but smile when B turned toward me, just before heading into his class, to wave one last time.